I don't know if it's universally true and it doesn't matter. But I agree with the idea of "if you love someone, set them free; if they love you, they will come back to you". Love cannot be born on the grounds of clinginess or investigation. It seems that a lot of "successful" relationships base their whole core principle on the state of bonding to the point of fusion. Examples can be found everywhere, from the typical everyday interrogatory to joint accounts on social networking, to spying, jealousy. I spoke of jealousy before.
What makes a relationship solid is freedom, not fusion. Yes, a paradox, that's why people can't grasp this concept. 
Setting someone free can include waiting, hoping, wondering. It can include a degree of uncertainty that can render one insecure. It is a challenge that you can choose to have or not. But after all this waiting, hoping and wondering, a new level can come: the level of pure security. It's a risk indeed. If the person is free and they come back to you, then you should consider this the most solid ground for your relationship and you can begin the fusion, a fusion that will happen in a totally different manner than in the cases of jealousy breeding committments. You are together by being apart. Nature made you two separate beings for a reason: to build walls, separate, so you can unite. Usually it's the other way around. 
The pure security that I spoke of comes from knowing that you didn't put any restriction over the other, that it all came from their own free will. But it's hard, I know.


Rammstein at ROCK THE CITY 2013 - Bucharest

 If they wear studs, why can't we wear pink?


Das Feuer liebt euch...

Der Metzgermeister in action.

The sparkling man.

It really seemed like it was just the two of us then.




 Till the firestarter.

A moment.

A wallpaper moment.

Don't stop.

Giving their best.

A moment of trance.

RZK and Flake.


 Foamy time.

This was the best concert I've seen so far. I've had "bests" in the past, but now, this one has become my favorite. It is my favorite band next to Metallica that I've also seen live. Metallica was the show in the rain, Rammstein was full of fire. I can't describe how I feel, I am still in a sort of a trance and find myself remembering how Till looked at me. If you want to see larger size photos, click on them.


More in love than ever (and following)

The world knows everything. It knows what you dream even when you have forgotten the moment you woke up. The world seems to be inhaled even through a gasmask, toxicity rises in fast forward. How do they seem to know, always know that you have been more in love than ever? Newspapers, people around you, they say this as they see you stroll in the park holding hands, smiling. It must be that their minds have already been assimilated into you, without you even realizing and it is speaking for you. Now you are more in love than ever and you don't even know it. You will find out soon. I always found amusement in finding out things about me that I didn't know. Relationships are defined as either perfect or flawed, but based on the surface. If they catch you making out, it's a passionately perfect one, all the time. If they caught you in the distance, it is going downhill. Please, enlighten me on my relationship parameters, for I am blind! It is nice to have everybody validate impressions. So, I take it that if you catch a glimpse of a pair who happens to be in a tender moment, it means that they're more in love than ever? I guess I missed the memo about surfaces becoming a key in relationships's interpretations.

Then you talk about jealousy as if it is a great thing. "Oh, I wish my lover would get jealous, it means that he cares!" How about you see jealousy as an ugly disease instead? There must be nothing more attractive than a person with no self confidence, entitled to a crude selfishness and keeping you caged in his own mind. Jealousy in small doses could be a cute expression of care. Small doses become such a relative thing and you can already see people being held against the wall for talking to the oposite sex, but cherishing their partner's jealousy. They start forgetting to have an experience on their own, they only talk in "we", they refrain from having opposite sex friends, they make social networking accounts called "Gina and Thomas Johnson", they kiss on escalators because they have nothing else to do to pass those 30 seconds, they have sex so that they can tell their friends, they validate it in front of everybody else but themselves. This relationship becomes a welding in the most personally "depersonalized" way possible. They cease to exist as a person, instead, their whole life is an exposition of perfection, a loveless slavery, a fiasco. This, however, is often perceived as a "perfect" relationship. If this is a perfect relationship, then I love imperfection. 

"If love is a dress, hang me in rags" (Maria McKee).


End Title

I was your fortress. It surely sounds close to how I felt, in your eyes. The present brings similar feelings, I feel that I defend you but you are within me and you must defend me, too. You must protect me from within as I protect you from without. You are in me, but I am not in you. It's a matter of the yet. Was it that you felt so lonely as to give yourself to someone else? Was it a matter of the opponent's insistence? It was, it was. I gave you a taste of what was yet to come, then I took it away and left you hollow. You had to mend, I know. There is no matter of certainty right now or if it is, I cannot see it. But come that day when certainty will prevail, I will ask you to disappear for a while, so I can search for you. You trained me to fight for you and if I will stop, it won't be that pace that I have been walking on. I must fight for you to know that we're still alive. You must still wonder if I left without a warning. I must still wonder from time to time if you still think of me or if I have become a matter of carnal regeneration.

Challenge accepted, they say...


Post title

I like walking by myself. Few people can understand this, many consider it odd. What's odd, I am never alone if I let myself think. I am never alone if the headphones are bouncing in my ears. I often shop alone, it's good to have nobody wait on you. Sometimes I find myself holding the invisible hand of the man I left there a while back. I know that he feels the same when we wanders through the night, holding my hand. What I find odd is the impression that you need company to do everything. I'd rather spend days alone than hours in a bad company. I can be lonely in a room full of people, now that's sad. Being alone, though, can be so empowering.


That Language

Hey, look, it's your language. Did you just write our civilization?

Don't want to be on top of your list
Phenomenally and properly kissed
We overcome in sixty seconds
With the strength we have to together
But for now, emotional ties they stay severed
When there's trust there'll be treats
And when we funk we'll hear beats 
[Massive Attack - Karmacoma]


Camera Obscura

...I remember how it was just the two of us, rekindled by the house's instinctive way of playing back its memories.He would sometimes sit in a corner, pulling wings of butterflies, with his legs crouched, giving them to me so I can fly. The notion of size was never a bargain with him. He would then dance with the shadows of that place. His big arms would crush me in their embrace, but I always felt that it was somehow worth it. The sun used to come and shape his existence for a while. He liked to switch my eye colors with pebbles. I would be motionless, at his service. Him, the demon, giving me wings from the butterflies so I can be heavenly. My body is there, a doll figure, my plastic skin feels hard. I know that he'd prefer to talk to me instead.


Der Wahnsinn

You know you have watched me go when every link that was between us has turned into things made by humans; when the only ways to meet me are the ways of the land. I do not need a bridge or a car to reach to that soul that stands right before me. I don't need a ticket or a bus. My spirit does not know the meaning of distance. Distance is this inquisition that has laid itself to separate the bodies. My body is a ship and I am the captain. If I told you this, do you want to sail or be sailed?



Let the secret be between their shadows and that light. It took all those years to build it inside. Do not dare to tell anyone, to speak of the past that laid out across that sea, into that air inside that astral darkness. You were made of stars, letting them powder their ashes under your feet. You spoke of secrets that no world could ever grasp. The promise was made to never tell. Shadows turned into beams of light coming through every pore of your skin. If your love is the design of angel wings, then I am the Heaven. The destination will never be the same. Our silence was the entire music of the world. You could cut that innocent flying with that knife. You could speak my language because it called you in. I could speak yours because it was engraved into my atoms.

My fascination is the meaning of it all. Without this fascination, everything becomes a stencil. I have gotten out of every box.



The way that they lead their way, like shadows, covered by their own values and morals, this way becomes the revolution. The revolution of the faceless people begins. There is no way back, but no way forwards either. We have no beginning, no end, no middle, no shape. We are neither here nor there. We don't exist unless you think of us.