28.4.08

Vandalism


I have vandalized my past and removed all that used to be sacred, turning it into profane, obscene and deliberate. It was a strange moment, reluctant I was, I'd say, more perceptive and receptive. My mind has been educated in two major languages: Romanian and English. My soul, though, has no language. It speaks in feelings. And feelings must be eradicated.

I drew over the paintings of what was once empowering. Then I laughed and defied all that was mine. Loneliness is not a tragedy, it is a choice. Being heartsick, lovesick, homesick, these are all choices. Mind eating tragedies, now...open the doors of your world. Open your hatred, your love, the dementia and the sweat, the bullets that kill with words...

I always needed purification. Why does purification require so much effort...? Evilness is so much easier, so why not work harder? I often dream of being involved in controlling the world. I would vandalize these egomaniac principles, this lack of talent promoted in the media, the superficiality taught to kids. I already vandalize them.

I don't hate the world. I want to control it. Change and renew it. To get it reborn, resurrected, respawned, reassured. Mmmmmmmm, how tragic.

Just another of my dreams of becoming world dominating. Never mind. =]

1 comment:

herminedirt said...

aceasta dorinta de a domina lumea este expresia unei increderi in propria persoana, in calea pe care ai apucat-o, este nevoia de a le arata / explica tuturor de ce tu crezi ca ai dreptate. este un sentiment ce poate fi extrem de constructiv (atata timp cat ramanem constienti ca este doar o fantasma, o sursa de auto-motivatie), sau poate duce la nebunie totala (daca il fixam ca tel).