...bother to talk to me [unless you seek being mocked] if you subscribe yourself to ANY of these circumstances, ideas, reactions or/and postures:

*You turn your "how metal 666 I am" into the first, middle and last thing you think about when you are conscious, but also asleep. That BECAUSE for each attempt to shove this bullshit down my throat, I will imagine you and PHOTOSHOP you unshaved, dressed in colors that even color-blind people will be able to see, and this will make me laugh each time I see you [just so you'd know why I smile the next time we meet, no, it's not because I've missed ya].

*You start blabbering about bands. Examples: "...I knew why this band sucked.", "...which of the 4837 vocalists from the 666 trv kvlt methal band is the kewlest", "...[insert absurd black metal band here]'s cover was way cooler than the original heavy metal shit", "I've seen Scorpions! :D". [I have FLIRTED with the Scorpions' guitarist when your sorry ass didn't even hear of him and I already told you that, so why do you have this annoying scratch in your ass to TELL me again and again?! That's BECAUSE you'll end up rejected by all your "666" retarded kvlt friends for "betraying" one of your obsessive-compulsive "methal trvness" allegiances [search wikipedia for the word allegiance].

*You start your conversation with: "You're way cooler than most others because you are open minded to [insert "not accepted" action/movie/etc here]". How the hell do you know me so you can assume that I am "way cooler" than "most others"? Have you met "most others" to tell?... That's BECAUSE I will reply you "Yeah, well, you're way cooler than the other rest for being a psychic." and you will stare at me like a complete moron and, once again, I'll amuse myself on your behalf. But now that you've read this, I'll change my method. ;)

*You see my BUSY status on messenger [which allows only emergencies] and you ask me "how are you?". How do YOU THINK I am if I'm being bothered by a moron who has definitely read my status and considers him/herself entitled to still disturb me, "because she wouldn't. Nah, she wouldn't tell me to fuck off." Ya THINK!?

*Uhm and if he/she didn't read my status, then [considering I added myself to my own messenger to check if they show up], he/she's got a serious problem. Same happens in real life: you see a person which is obviously busy and you LOVE to disturb with useless crap.

*You're illiterate, you ask questions for which you already have the answer [somewhere where it requires your thinking or attention], or you want to have sex with me. I only accept sex requests from certain people and you're not included. Trust me on that. ;) If you were, I'd surely let you know.

*You THINK that by giving you a compliment, I offer myself easily. Oh, you have no idea how many times the man [woman] has almost gotten into bed waiting for me to join and I left.

*You consider this blog entry offensive because, obviously, you either feel you fit one of the categories or you think I'm being mean. If you know me, you'll know WHY I wrote this right now. By all means, I have no intention to offend anyone, but to make your life a bit easier in making you avoid any embarrassing situation while meeting me.

*You know I like a certain movie/band/genre/character/etc and you have to start blabbering how I should prefer something else, or you recommend me something else [often accompanied by a "meah, better watch this" or "You should watch/listen to this if you like THAT". I don't need your recommendations unless ASKED for and I certainly do not need reference of anything "better" unless I demand it, thank you very much for your care.

*You act like a completely typical "rocker". That is: fear of anything colored, yawning about shitty bands who never got to sell a record, "but do music for pleasure", bashing good bands because it's the trend nowadays, saying that "I'm just me, I'm not a metalhead" [oh please], considering Disturbed to be a "shitty nu-metal band like Korn" [you people who say this should be executed and Korn has some good songs too but you're too tr00 to know that, shh!], wearing new rocks in the middle of July, saying that "Metallica sucks nowadays" without even reading their life story to know why they "suck so much", thinking that I listen to black metal ONLY, just because I sometimes wear corpsepaint, cut yourself for "fame and glory", etc etc etc.

*You are too prejudgemental [notice I put a "too" there. Everyone is a bit prejudgemental, so buzz off with bullshit.]. You listen to manele and dress funny [pink shirts on guys are comically stupid, not cool, stupid, "guys" ;), and wearing a 4 cm blouse on 2 degrees is lame, not sexy, lame, "gals". ;) ]

*The rest of you may speak. I don't bite...[unless asked nicely :D ]. The rest of you will also benefit of the show caused by my sarcasm towards the ones who fit one of the categories above. The "others" may speak as well, but at their own risk, I am not responsible for any situation that might [surely] occur.

AND don't ADD IDEAS to this entry, I am SURE I forgot some, let them be [for now]. ;)

This blog is mainly for RANTING purposes. I keep the beauty side of my life mostly to myself and my close ones. True, sometimes I offer details here as well, but the main idea of my blog is to write my ideas down here rather than carving them in someone's forehead [literally speaking].


Michael said...

Some late night ramblings:

"you see a person which is obviously busy and you LOVE to disturb with useless crap." - Of course! Doesn't everybody? :P I think one of Murphy's laws refers to these situations :D

"act like a [...] "rocker". That is: fear of anything colored" - I never thought of it this way. In my case, I think it suits me or maybe it represents the color of my soul or something like that :)). For others, it may have a deeper meaning or it might just represent a method to avoid washing clothes too often :P

"The rest of you may speak. I don't bite...[unless asked nicely :D ]" - And unless you're not busy (in which case, one doesn't need to ask at all) :P

Alluriah said...

ooh :( another disclaimer rant thingie...i simply don`t get out of the house refuse to buy a TV and i am 25% happier.