Christmas Time

I love Christmas! It's one of my favorite times of the year. I had my anual tradition of watching the ALIEN series on the 24 and 25th [even if I am a Predator fan], I had a great time and I wish it lasted a bit longer.

Sometimes it's the magic of the moment that matters the most and how you perceive it.



I hate Twilight. I abhor all this stupid fuss with this useless best-seller. I am sad to be offending a book, but here I am.

I hate Twilight. Whenever I hear everyone squirting about this 2 dimed book, I get the urge to puke.

As well, I am glad if I offend you. I am glad! :D It sucks. It's bullshit.

All the forums are infected with this plague of "fans". Most of 'em took one after another, of course. Others really like it, which I don't comment upon.

But this whole hysteria is lame. Hah! Take that.



What is the real essence of solitude? Why is it considered wrong? Lately I've been hypersomniac, but I am not going to rush into diagnostics until the 2 weeks pass. It bothers me because the usual 8 1/2 hrs of sleep turn into endless, no matter how much I sleep, I never get to feel awake.

I refuse the idea of depression. But one may wonder why I am refusing almost any social contact. I am partly antisocial. Besides, I am known for often being a bastard. I enjoy spending time alone, but in the same time, I abhor it. I abhor the idea of another Christmas in front of my monitor, watching again the Alien, Predator and AVP series, imagining how it would be if I opened myself to contact with other people, if I became less picky and screwed at least the 6th man that I see as slightly attractive.

In a way I feel great, but in another way it is terrible. People push me into socializing with them and I don't want to. They sometimes feel offended that I am always busy, but in reality I am rarely busy. I am just not in the mood for conversations or going out.

And I don't talk about those that I dislike, but about those people with whom if I went out, I'd feel good. Even if I know I'd feel good, I still refuse to socialize.

Why don't you fucking understand that and stop accusing me of anything? If you knew the source of my refuse, you'd stop presuming. An invitation starting with "I know you're antisocial, but I think we should meet for a ..." would most of the times result in a meeting. Words mean a lot sometimes.

But the usual "Hey wanna go out" will mostly never work. The thought does not appeal to me. When a person realizes what I am and offers an invite, then it might become appealing.

My Status

I am ignoring any possibility which would start with "you and I". And you know best...our way of ignoring things. Bleh guard down, got shot, pinned down, I'm used.

Ya think!?



You: "I had anal sex."
Me: "And didn't it hurt...like crap...?"




"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law."

Does he just hear this whispering in his ears each time we meet or is it [probably definitely] my paranoia?

It's fun. Anything he says IS being used against him in my court of law, he is usually silent and if not silent, then sarcastic, masking indifference when inside his heart is crushing and 99% of the times, very handsome.

Otherwise, it's all going great. The man I want, his article 31 "tuned" to his rhythm [and often too much blues], my amused intollerance, signs of affection, madness.

Many times, you hear this after committing a murder. He is not yet there, I'm not dead yet, but I could call it a felony for now. What I [sadly] notice is that he really wants to hear this for murder and not just felony. For felony can mean much more than just murder.

Alright. He ordered. Murder it is.



Dead On Arrival

The idea of this post came into my consideration while thinking about the fate of one of the thousands of talented people who were/are sentenced to die because of a disease. This time it was the actor Patrick Swayze, next time it will be someone else, so on and so forth.

It is unfair and I am claiming whatever God is out there to reconsider the punishments for everybody. Right now I AM entitled to even blaspheme. I have noticed that people with absolutely no talent and no reason to live lead a perfect life, surrounded by money, luxury and health. On the other hand, those who actually DO something or create, who don't disturb with their patethic opulence are being hit by cancers and shitty diseases.

I, right now, claim my right to ask this. I ask for death to all these insignificant lowlives, polluting the air and nature with their garbage and their presence, with their bullying and their indecent parade of a sickening "luxury" and talentless fate. I would personally eradicate these people if I could.

I claim life to the talented people, to those who changed the world by presenting something more than bank accounts, golden clothes and exposing those who are poor[er] to their grotesque overnight enrichment; to those who have written a good song, or a novel, a piece of poetry and to those whose presence makes you THINK, create, meditate.

I am sick and tired of hearing that another artist has died, while these intoxicating "subhumans" continue to rot our planet away. Don't tell me that "We all have our fate" or that everybody dies in the end because I don't buy it. I am SICK of buying it.

I am afraid to create something. I am afraid of living a life that is so hated by these subhumans because I fear the same "fate" will call for me. I deny any talent I have, for it will sentence me to death...



...bother to talk to me [unless you seek being mocked] if you subscribe yourself to ANY of these circumstances, ideas, reactions or/and postures:

*You turn your "how metal 666 I am" into the first, middle and last thing you think about when you are conscious, but also asleep. That BECAUSE for each attempt to shove this bullshit down my throat, I will imagine you and PHOTOSHOP you unshaved, dressed in colors that even color-blind people will be able to see, and this will make me laugh each time I see you [just so you'd know why I smile the next time we meet, no, it's not because I've missed ya].

*You start blabbering about bands. Examples: "...I knew why this band sucked.", "...which of the 4837 vocalists from the 666 trv kvlt methal band is the kewlest", "...[insert absurd black metal band here]'s cover was way cooler than the original heavy metal shit", "I've seen Scorpions! :D". [I have FLIRTED with the Scorpions' guitarist when your sorry ass didn't even hear of him and I already told you that, so why do you have this annoying scratch in your ass to TELL me again and again?! That's BECAUSE you'll end up rejected by all your "666" retarded kvlt friends for "betraying" one of your obsessive-compulsive "methal trvness" allegiances [search wikipedia for the word allegiance].

*You start your conversation with: "You're way cooler than most others because you are open minded to [insert "not accepted" action/movie/etc here]". How the hell do you know me so you can assume that I am "way cooler" than "most others"? Have you met "most others" to tell?... That's BECAUSE I will reply you "Yeah, well, you're way cooler than the other rest for being a psychic." and you will stare at me like a complete moron and, once again, I'll amuse myself on your behalf. But now that you've read this, I'll change my method. ;)

*You see my BUSY status on messenger [which allows only emergencies] and you ask me "how are you?". How do YOU THINK I am if I'm being bothered by a moron who has definitely read my status and considers him/herself entitled to still disturb me, "because she wouldn't. Nah, she wouldn't tell me to fuck off." Ya THINK!?

*Uhm and if he/she didn't read my status, then [considering I added myself to my own messenger to check if they show up], he/she's got a serious problem. Same happens in real life: you see a person which is obviously busy and you LOVE to disturb with useless crap.

*You're illiterate, you ask questions for which you already have the answer [somewhere where it requires your thinking or attention], or you want to have sex with me. I only accept sex requests from certain people and you're not included. Trust me on that. ;) If you were, I'd surely let you know.

*You THINK that by giving you a compliment, I offer myself easily. Oh, you have no idea how many times the man [woman] has almost gotten into bed waiting for me to join and I left.

*You consider this blog entry offensive because, obviously, you either feel you fit one of the categories or you think I'm being mean. If you know me, you'll know WHY I wrote this right now. By all means, I have no intention to offend anyone, but to make your life a bit easier in making you avoid any embarrassing situation while meeting me.

*You know I like a certain movie/band/genre/character/etc and you have to start blabbering how I should prefer something else, or you recommend me something else [often accompanied by a "meah, better watch this" or "You should watch/listen to this if you like THAT". I don't need your recommendations unless ASKED for and I certainly do not need reference of anything "better" unless I demand it, thank you very much for your care.

*You act like a completely typical "rocker". That is: fear of anything colored, yawning about shitty bands who never got to sell a record, "but do music for pleasure", bashing good bands because it's the trend nowadays, saying that "I'm just me, I'm not a metalhead" [oh please], considering Disturbed to be a "shitty nu-metal band like Korn" [you people who say this should be executed and Korn has some good songs too but you're too tr00 to know that, shh!], wearing new rocks in the middle of July, saying that "Metallica sucks nowadays" without even reading their life story to know why they "suck so much", thinking that I listen to black metal ONLY, just because I sometimes wear corpsepaint, cut yourself for "fame and glory", etc etc etc.

*You are too prejudgemental [notice I put a "too" there. Everyone is a bit prejudgemental, so buzz off with bullshit.]. You listen to manele and dress funny [pink shirts on guys are comically stupid, not cool, stupid, "guys" ;), and wearing a 4 cm blouse on 2 degrees is lame, not sexy, lame, "gals". ;) ]

*The rest of you may speak. I don't bite...[unless asked nicely :D ]. The rest of you will also benefit of the show caused by my sarcasm towards the ones who fit one of the categories above. The "others" may speak as well, but at their own risk, I am not responsible for any situation that might [surely] occur.

AND don't ADD IDEAS to this entry, I am SURE I forgot some, let them be [for now]. ;)

This blog is mainly for RANTING purposes. I keep the beauty side of my life mostly to myself and my close ones. True, sometimes I offer details here as well, but the main idea of my blog is to write my ideas down here rather than carving them in someone's forehead [literally speaking].