I promised myself [and a very good colleague of mine] that I won't dissect this thought anymore and that I'll put it aside. But I have to write about it. Today, Sunday at 9 I had an exam [nicely delayed with a few "hours" - hours in "before exam" terms mean centuries and you know] at Logics and after it was done, I stayed a while with my Team. I found some colleagues, in the last moments, of course, like at the parties when you have fun at the end, who turned out to be great people.
And when I say great people, I mean mostly RELIABLE. I was quite hopeless but finally I saw actions which made me say "yeah, man, there can still be people who don't let you down" and people who act as a TEAM. I admit I was really surprised, in a good way when I saw that there were occasions when they could've done like most people do: only care about themselves, but they didn't. They act as a team should, they didn't betray what we discussed and they stood up for me when I was stressed about some drama, as well.
BUT that is NOT the thought I was talking about. I just wanted to add this as a thank you. The real thing is that I had a friend in this college, amongst other acquaintances that I made. And I thought we were this way until things started to get strange for no particular reason, just random events.
I thought that it was going to be one of those friendships that will last. But today we met and as much as it saddened me, we acted like two acquaintances in nice relations, which met "just like that", but having a lot of meaningful looks.
It is not a tragedy and not even a drama, it is more like a conclusion. No, friendships don't "just die", we WERE FRIENDS and the events that occured made this end, but I still want to know why. And I sort of guess why, but I can still give the "probable cause" a chance.
From my part, the friendship's gone. I have no remorse, only some memories that will fade in time. I should've stuck to my top 4 people that I can call friends, with two of them being unquestionably and always there, from the start. Which I'll start redoing.