20.7.09

Solitary Man

There is nothing that will stop the hatred. Did it ever happen to you to really wish killing were legal? But really really wish. How can you stop your dreams which tell you to kill?

Therapy? No. I don't need somebody to tell me what I already know.

Yeah, I admit. Right now I feel extremely antisocial and lonely. I wipe everyone away and become really solitary. There's a strange sadness that doesn't let me go. A lot of things bring me down now, I am more sensitive than usually and even the smallest stress brings me down.

And I feel alone in all this shit. I feel betrayed. I postpone everything and don't feel like doing anything but thinking that I will enjoy myself.

Just because I graduated "Spiru Haret" [daily courses though] doesn't make me a fucking LEPER. Maybe all of you who can't see the ground because your noses are too high should look at yourselves before you give me the "ahh so you studied there...".

ASE isn't better. In fact, ASE is a craphole filled with idiots who want to do nothing and earn money, sitting at a filthy desk and writing papers. There is ONE exception whom I know to confirm this rule. If you don't follow the herd and go to ASE, you are a fucking leper.

Now how does that sound coming from a person who never stepped in ASE? Bad, eh? Prejudgemental. Well, enjoy your shit and think about how we feel when you call us all the names because you HEARD from someone about this.

I feel disappointed and left over. And I do feel sorry for myself. And I do feel like ranting about it.

I just need to feel reasurred. Sometimes, no matter how strong you say that I am, I just feel weak.

It's a sign of weakness..

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