2.8.09

My World



"It's my world and you can't have it!" were the words of Metallica's song "My World". Well, let me tell you about my world. I'll give no details, but meanings.

First off, I am not schizophrenic or more commonly said, insane. There was a quote that sounded something like "someone who is in love can go at the end of the world just to see a rock". It's about the perspective. I will make a statement of my Inner Circle existence not to share it with you, but to give meaning to some actions that otherwise would seem meaningless.

I will distinguish two types of reality. There is the natural reality, the one of you and I, the one where Romania is our country, where I finished the Philosophy college, where you are my blog reader etc. Then there is my alternate reality where almost nothing from the natural reality matters.

Now you will say "But everybody has a dream world where all fantasies come true" and I will agree. I never said that I am the ONE AND ONLY. What makes a difference between me and most of the other dreamy people is that I act almost all of my fantasies. My dreams aren't put somewhere in a pedestal and I don't access them only with my mind, but with my entire being.

How I do that will not be disclosed. As I said, I will give only meanings and not details. You will say: "Really, so where is Mark Harmon and when is your 10 million fans concert?" for example. I can only say that I achieve the state where my alternate reality becomes almost 85% real. Often it happens that when I say that I am with Mark somewhere, I am more with Mark than an actual friend of his would be having dinner with him in California. My mind can connect in such a level to a person or state that the state becomes more tangible than the actual state could be.

I can explain in an easier way: you are eating a burger at Burger King, but in the same time, you lost its taste and meaning because you are thinking about a totally different thing. Next thing you know, the burger's gone and you didn't even realize it. I say, I am not eating a burger there, but I can detach myself from my natural reality and enter the alternate one, where the burger is in my hand, that I can feel its taste, texture, everything, more than you have felt it when you ate it for real.

You might think that my satisfaction is only an illusion, like the whole idea of this alternate reality. I can answer with a yes and a no. Yes, it IS an illusion, I will not be insane to tell you that Mark is coming over and expect you to believe it in the natural and real sense of the word AND no, it is not only an illusion, because the emotions and experiences gathered in these events are stronger than anyone could imagine. Hell, most of the times these are more reliable and durable than the feelings I get in the real life.

I still don't want to tell you how I do it. You might suspect anything, from a temporary annihilation of reality to simulation and dissimulation, from Photoshopping even my mind and not only a photo to trance and meditation, I will not confirm or deny any possibility.

Well, it IS my world and you can't have it.

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