25.10.09

Glass


Just imagine this world, but made of glass or try to see everyone from above, in their daily routine. If you were to be an extraterrestrial being and you would be taught about socialization, you'd realize that people look rather funny from the outside. Don't take this the wrong way, I am slightly towards medium misanthropic and rather antisocial at times, so it'd be hypocritical of me to say otherwise.

Take a restaurant and look from above or even from beyond, if you can. You see tables at about 30cm distance and at each table, there's another world being built. It doesn't matter that it's a world of cabbage and mediocrity or a world of meditation, it is the same. If someone from the outside tries to enter that world, he is being excluded or treated reluctantly. People agree to spend time in the same room/building, but that's about it. Their universe does not expand beyond its current borders.

Take the common transport. People are forced to stay very close to each other and they go insane. You sit NEXT to a person, but you don't talk. You can even get pressed to a person and you don't talk. If nobody in a certain wagon knows each other, they all stay in silence.

And that makes you wonder of something that my partner and I have been endlessly discussing: if I am not there, will everything be the same? A woman wearing blue has just entered the subway and she's going towards a place to sit. I see her. She takes out a book, looks to the right and then starts reading. But if I weren't there, would she do exactly the same thing?... I went further away and thought that whenever I intervene in someone's life, in the most insignificant way, I change that person's life forever and same happens the other way around.

I used to be given one example to how I will meet my soulmate: I'll be in the market and he would "happen to" come there, too and we'd start talking. I was a kid back then, so even now when I go in the market, I am wondering where he is. I am aware that it was JUST an example and if the market would have been the Police, I'd have had shivers every time I'd pass by the Police station. But I believe that I have met one of my soulmates. He just happens not to be available.

I sometimes get "out of myself" and just watch people live. Sometimes, the most normal human existence seems so ridiculous. Animals don't do this. They didn't estrange; when a dog sees another dog, that dog is his full centre of interest. I could say that this alienation has its good parts. How would it be to walk through the city and sit on any bench, next to anyone and start talking to that person as if you knew them and this same thing to happen to you?

I say: it would be overwhelming.

No comments: