26.8.09

Got Water?


I love spending time underwater. I love it so much, that my facial expression started to look natural even when I'm there. :)) Hah, it takes some practice and some NCIS inspiration [Requiem] but it is good. This photo was taken today.

24.8.09

Peace

So I decided to give you my current location. I just arrived here in Thassos, Greece, for the second time. I am sleeping in the room where my parents slept last year. :))

I feel more than HAPPY that I have wireless connection, that means I can communicate with my Ni and the superworld.

I could post a photo from last year, because as I got here, it seemed that I was in Groundhog's Day, seriously. It was a time warp. The only difference is the radiance.

But I won't. I will kill you with photos when I have time.

Peace.

22.8.09

In My Secret Life

There’s no one in sight.
And we’re still making love
In My Secret Life. [...]
Moving across the borders
Of My Secret Life.
© Leonard Cohen

It is expanding to the point of reality. It gets to the point of annihilating the real world and giving my dreams those wings to fly.

My dreams are coming true. Look at the photo in the right side of my blog :). My inspiration, my relief and my greatest role model.

No, don't get me wrong. I do live in the real world and enjoy it, but it is nothing without my intrinsic life. And I will cross the borders.

I will be away for a while. God, I feel so free! :) I wonder who really understands what I mean with those lyrics..

20.8.09

Remember Me


It's safe to say I'm lonely now

A place called home

Is just a memory away

I know I've done this all before

A thousand silent voices

Begging me to stay

Apologies all left unsaid

Secrets better left unspoken

Dreams are slowly put to bed

Rumors stirred and reawoken

If I try to get away

How long until I'm free

And if I don't come back here

Will you remember me?

It's safe to say

I'm nothing now

It's all so quiet but I

Can't forget the sound

A thousand voices call my name

A thousand hands that

Pull me back down to the ground

I turn away from what you are

Denying all that you have given

I find a place that's safe and far

In time all will be forgiven

If I try to get away

How long until I'm free

And if I don't come back here

Will you remember me?


© The Birthday Massacre

Yup, that is a natural photo of me. No make up, no photoshop, all is natural [except for the hair color]. I am not afraid to show myself without make up, it is just that I don't like how my eyes look without.

17.8.09

One More Cigarette


I measure my time in cigarettes. Sad, for a human, funny for an immortal. I tend to say I always say: "One more cigarette and then I'll (X, Y, Z)". I don't say "I'll do this in 10 minutes". I felt rather queer not to pick on myself every once in a while, because being a hypocrite is not part of my menu.


I didn't get insane enough to measure the far future in packs of cigarettes. "I'll go to the mountains in 20 packs of cigarettes!" would sound tragi-comic. More tragi than comic, I'd say. So, I count my time in seconds that I waste from my far future life, minutes or maybe even years. I count today so that later I won't have what to count.


I don't want to quit smoking, I want smoking to quit killing people. I want it to be healthy. I want to be happy when I count my time in cigarettes. Or am I talking about addiction or obsession?


Right now I thought that I'll smoke one more and I go to bed. My time is made of nicotine and smoke. My time is vicious! Ha ha!


It's a fine way to put it...

15.8.09

Gibbs Icons

Last night I was bored and I made a couple of unanimated Gibbs/Mark avatars. I can do much better, but these are the first this kind that I made so far.

Gibbs














I want to find a program that turns video files into .gif. Any suggestion is welcome.

10.8.09

Ones.

They're young. They're called teenagers. They are the ones. Some of them have more energy, some of them are dull. Some of them think that the world began when they were born, others crawl in a corner and beg for attention. But their biological age starts with 1. I like to spoil their youth, saying that, with years, the next time their age will start with 1, they'd better hope to still be alive.

My age starts with 2. But I don't have to worry, I won't catch 200. At least, not in this life. They'd probably wonder how I spoiled their youth?

Well, if they don't think like me, then it doesn't make a difference. But if they do, it surely feels sad. But then again, so many just want to die before reaching 50.

I don't know if I made any sense. I know that, to myself, I made a lot of sense.

9.8.09

Kill With Consent


Build a virus. We know it has been built. Build it to decimate. In the meantime, let some people die. A dozen is fine to create the panic. You have the cure of a virus that you made, but without those victims, your stocks would be ground levelled. The cure has never been "in the process of developping", it has ALWAYS been there. Maybe even before the virus was made.


People became stocks. Somehow, you tried to be selective about who you decimate, but that happened in the past. The virus was the race, then the political orientation, now it led to sexual orientations, although those have always been questioned.


Who is a more heinous criminal, the one in jail or the one who orders mass murders, in a suit, from an office; the one that makes everybody switch sides on the street as he walks or the one that welcomes you and assures you that you'll be fine, while injecting death straight into your heart?


Killed with consent...while praying to get out of the "poison place" alive.

5.8.09

Ireal TV

Mi s-a pus pata iar pe mass-media - in cazul asta vorbesc de TV. In timp ce alte tari au programe speciale pentru reality show-uri, la noi nu se vorbeste de asa ceva. Imi amintesc cand eram mai mica si am aparut de vreo trei ori la TV, era asa o mandrie.. Acum fug ca dracu' cand vad vreun reporter sau vreo camera de filmat pe strada.

Observ ca aproape toate reality show-urile noastre prezinta ori manelisti, ori viitori manelisti. Manelismul asta nu tine neaparat de muzica, sa stii.. Vezi cumva vreun reality show despre doctori, cum sunt cele gen "Maverick", sau vreun reality show despre un grup de cantareti care se lupta sa faca o formatie si care sa arate toate etapele si stress-ul prin care trec pentru ca sa-si indeplineasca visul? Astea-s doua exemple din care omul poate invata altceva decat degenerarea asta pe care o prezinta toate posturile tv: viata personala a nu stiu carui bogatas sau cum nu stie sa gateasca nu stiu ce star.

Ce poate invata? Pai in primul rand, romanii [ca intre ei traiesc] nu sunt educati sa mearga la doctor. Ei prefera sa se trateze singuri si de multe ori mor cu zile din cauza asta. Un asemenea reality show ar fi posibil daca si doctorii nostri ar primi conditii civilizate de munca, normal. De ce un grup de artisti? Retoric.

Daca ar fi sa propun ceva, stii ce as propune? Pe programele speciale de reality show-uri sunt emisiuni de toate genurile: de la cele gen Choppers, pentru roackeri, la cele pentru manelistii lor, sau cele pentru "pitzipoancele" din cluburi, gasesti orice. Nu propun un program exclusivist, nu mai avem nevoie de exclusivismul asta idiot. De ce sa excludem ce nu ne convine, desi exista? Manelismul exista, nu va putea fi distrus [cel putin nu acum], bine, atunci in loc sa manelizam chiar tot, hai sa manelizam numai partea aia fara speranta...pentru ca altfel vor spune ca suntem nazisti si vrem sa-i exterminam. [Hai sa nu mai continui...]

Insa televiziunile noastre se preocupa NUMAI cu vanzarea. Educarea oamenilor chiar nu mai conteaza, daca "se vinde" si "se merita" sa-i faci pe toti cimpanzei, merge si asa.

4.8.09

Jaymz!


Happy Birthday, James Hetfield! You're the man.

I took this photo at the best concert that I've ever been to and the one concert that really made me forget about the rain or wind. But I already said this before.

I love this guy, he remains my all-time favorite musician and Metallica stays my soulband.

2.8.09

My World



"It's my world and you can't have it!" were the words of Metallica's song "My World". Well, let me tell you about my world. I'll give no details, but meanings.

First off, I am not schizophrenic or more commonly said, insane. There was a quote that sounded something like "someone who is in love can go at the end of the world just to see a rock". It's about the perspective. I will make a statement of my Inner Circle existence not to share it with you, but to give meaning to some actions that otherwise would seem meaningless.

I will distinguish two types of reality. There is the natural reality, the one of you and I, the one where Romania is our country, where I finished the Philosophy college, where you are my blog reader etc. Then there is my alternate reality where almost nothing from the natural reality matters.

Now you will say "But everybody has a dream world where all fantasies come true" and I will agree. I never said that I am the ONE AND ONLY. What makes a difference between me and most of the other dreamy people is that I act almost all of my fantasies. My dreams aren't put somewhere in a pedestal and I don't access them only with my mind, but with my entire being.

How I do that will not be disclosed. As I said, I will give only meanings and not details. You will say: "Really, so where is Mark Harmon and when is your 10 million fans concert?" for example. I can only say that I achieve the state where my alternate reality becomes almost 85% real. Often it happens that when I say that I am with Mark somewhere, I am more with Mark than an actual friend of his would be having dinner with him in California. My mind can connect in such a level to a person or state that the state becomes more tangible than the actual state could be.

I can explain in an easier way: you are eating a burger at Burger King, but in the same time, you lost its taste and meaning because you are thinking about a totally different thing. Next thing you know, the burger's gone and you didn't even realize it. I say, I am not eating a burger there, but I can detach myself from my natural reality and enter the alternate one, where the burger is in my hand, that I can feel its taste, texture, everything, more than you have felt it when you ate it for real.

You might think that my satisfaction is only an illusion, like the whole idea of this alternate reality. I can answer with a yes and a no. Yes, it IS an illusion, I will not be insane to tell you that Mark is coming over and expect you to believe it in the natural and real sense of the word AND no, it is not only an illusion, because the emotions and experiences gathered in these events are stronger than anyone could imagine. Hell, most of the times these are more reliable and durable than the feelings I get in the real life.

I still don't want to tell you how I do it. You might suspect anything, from a temporary annihilation of reality to simulation and dissimulation, from Photoshopping even my mind and not only a photo to trance and meditation, I will not confirm or deny any possibility.

Well, it IS my world and you can't have it.

Super Powers


There are times in my life when I yearn to be a superhuman. Even the most mundane events just point out the frustration that some of my super power wishes aren't as impossible as they'd seem.

I want to be able to kill any, but ANY fly, mosquito or fucking INSECT that bugs [pun intended]my existence and makes a sole purpose in its parasite life to fucking annoy me, with just a look. The closest I've come is tonight, when I just calmly strained my fist and caught a mosquito.

I want to be able to teleport. Hell, everybody wants this, needless to state why.

I want to be able to read and process a (philosophy) book in 15 minutes and after that to be able to quote it entirely.

This one's inspired from a recent dream I had: I had the ability to foresee a bullet and I used to see the light from the discharging of the gun before the bullet was projected into the air, in slow motion. Like this, I avoided all bullets that were directed to me.

I want to be able to start karate again, but this time to learn all in 1 day.

I want to hypnotize people. Right now, I want to hypnotize a guy to un-imagine that we might have any sort of future together. Just because I flirted a few times doesn't mean that I want to commit or receive cheesy text messages.

I want to shapeshift. For once, I'd turn into Pam Dawber, but then straight into Mark. Also, I'd enjoy to switch genders every other day.

I want to fly, but without wings or anything, just fly like in 90% of my dreams.

I have to, but I really HAVE TO be immortal. I recently read that most Romanians DO NOT want to be immortal. Very well, you go die while I enjoy eternal life.

I want to make someone die and disappear without a trace, seeming that she flew in another country under an assumed name or something. No, wait, maybe reversed, I don't want a guilty conscience because of a cockroach.

Alright, the conclusion is that these super powers turned out to be more impossible than I thought in the first place. I'll just stick with VR.