Introspection 13.0

[Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.]

That's James Hetfield and Metallica. They got me through tough days, through happy days, through everything. They're my number one. I've heard people bashing them, praising them but I have remained the same and I don't need to have every bootleg they made or know their shoe size to prove that.


Introspection 12.0

[Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.]

I almost never get compliments on my boobies and that explains: they're rather small. To be honest [and I am NOT being self-sufficient or jealous], I'd rather have them like this than botox them. If nature made me like this and an operation is rather dangerous, then all these compliments I'd get aren't worth the risk.


Introspection 11.0

[Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.]

My Photoshop skills, my eyes and my unnatural hair color - the red. I might say that I am a walking red haired photoshop with eyes.


Introspection 10.0

[Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.]

The man who makes me think of him when I listen to this song:

Waiting for a beam

To break through here

A chain way vision

All bright and clear

And they talk

And they dance

I was expecting something pure

With a golden hair

Arms full of bracelets

And smoke in the air

And they talk

And they dance

Here comes darkness

Just afternoon

Waiting for a sign

If I survive

I’ll worship the moon

Or something

This must be it

Long for bliss

First it was so quiet

Now I know I’m not alone in here

(And they talked, And they danced)

Two omens collide in my open hand

Making me a viewer

I am what I have seen

And they talk

And they dance

Your hand on my hips

Speak friendly to me

I’ve been studying for years


Is this as far as you can take me?

This must be it

Long for bliss

First it was so quiet

Now I know I’m not alone in here

(And they talked, And they danced).

[Röyksopp - This Must Be It]

I know that I should, but I can't let go of him, not just yet.


Introspection 9.0

[Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.]

My last partner. I guess the inevitable is happening and in time, we won't be talking to each other anymore and it's sad because we kept contact for a long time after I ended the relationship.


Introspection 8.0

[Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.]

All the bullies out there who, for NO reason, said mean things to me, for free, without getting ANY viable good thing out of it and merely a short satisfaction. Do you know that YOU are one of the main reasons for people committing murders or for killing themselves? Do you know that because of "jokes" like that, kids grow up to become screwed up adults or grab a shotgun and go on a killing rampage? No, it's not the tv's fault, tv doesn't give you so much rage. Do you know that your little piece of shit you call fun should be ILLEGAL because a few people realize what damage it does? I can control myself, but boy sometimes I'd love to just feel that these sick jokes would be punished by law because even if your bullying is "mild" and not stripping someone and taking them through the city, it's still scarring, you dumb pieces of shit. Read the lives of most serial killers or those who went on school shootings or a lot of most suicide cases.

Harsh language, I know, but for some reason this post brought up a lot of demons. And I KNOW that the ONLY ones who might tell me that I am overreacting are actual bullies so your opinion = fail.

Introspection 7.0

[Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.]

The family. We always set new goals and I have to say that I don't know many families who choose to spend their money on travelling instead of temporary mundane pleasures.


Introspection 6.0

[Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.]

Ahh, fears that, through such a persevering strength turn into phobias or at least in my case they do. It is almost impossible to choose one of the thoughts that have come to make my mind really cringe even as they tread on my living in the most discreet way possible. I will NOT write about not ever wanting for the loved ones to die, because that's innate. So, all that remains is not ever wanting to live all my life against my principles, against my will, in a cage far away from those I love.

And by cage you can think of a lot of meanings...


Introspection 5.0

[Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.]

I hope to meet a man to love, but by love I mean REALLY love, to die for and for him to love me back. My life revolves around love and my addiction is very powerful, like that song said:

"You like to think that you’re immune to the stuff, oh Yeah

it’s closer to the truth to say you can’t get enough,

you know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to love."

[Robert Palmer - Addicted to Love]


Introspection 4.0

[Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.]

It would have to be our latin teacher for failing us until the last moment all the time. Now, after centuries, I realized that I learnt some latin from her and it helps me a lot in college.


Introspection 3.0

[Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.]

I forgive myself for sometimes putting my well being in front of the death or extreme misery of others.

Oh and happy birthday to me! :D


Introspection 2.0

[Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.]

I love my perseverence. If I want something, I never give up until I get it and if I didn't get it, it means that I just got bored in the meantime and gave up. This perseverence also exists in my relationships, no matter their nature; if I really care about someone, (almost) nothing will keep us apart.


Introspection 1.0

[Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.]

My pride. Sometimes it leads me to do the most stupid things someone could do. I wish my main capital sin weren't pride; it's one of the most self-destructive sins someone could have. I think I'd be like the killer in the episode Murder 2.0 [NCIS] and when it unites with wrath, it's like a Molotov cocktail.